I am 50 years old and don’t act like it. I refuse to get middle aged, much less old!
A few years ago, that was not the case. I was a single mom who had spent her entire adult life striving. Striving to prove that I could make it. Striving for recognition in a corporate job. Striving for position in a friend group that I always left me feeling like an outsider (Today I know that had more to do with my perceptions than actual reality).
Life began to hit me really hard after I married a wonderful man. I don’t think I would have survived without him to help me along.
Our children began to grow up and they had the audacity to not be perfect!!! I chuckle now but, if you have been there or are there now, you know what I mean.
Some of the things were huge aggravations, some things are super insignificant in hindsight and some have been heartbreaking.
The stress from work,home, just being my age (if you know, you know) and pretending to be something I’m not finally caught up with me.
Migraines, chronic pain and something probably very close to a mental breakdown landed me in bed when I wasn’t pretending to be present at work and social events I couldn’t get out of.
I wish I could say that “suddenly” this thing happened and everything is all better now. It’s a process of growth and freedom that includes recovery, Jesus and healthy lifestyle changes. Changes to a more holistic and natural approach. Don’t let that wig you out any, I still go to the doctor, take prescriptions and see a therapist.
Today I am a licensed massage therapist with a growing list of people I can call my own. I volunteer my time in a Christ centered recovery program, where I continue to work on my own issues with Co-dependency. I love sharing my thoughts in hopes that they may help others. The next 50 years are going to be tha bomb y’all!!!
Thanks you for letting me share (If you know, you know)